Recently I’ve realised that with baking (and many other things in my life) I’ve put too much pressure on myself to achieve too much in too short amount of time. I always rush things and try and try and try again even though new recipes may not turn out and logic would tell me that I actually shouldn’t be doing whatever it is that I’m trying to do.
I really let it discourage me a lot last year. I think failing is good and I’ve actually read that some successful people actively seek out failures as a measure as to how much they’re trying. If you don’t try, you’re not learning anything new. A failure is a way of knowing that at least you attempted what you set out to do. I agree %100 but the actual act of this is more difficult than it sounds..
I’ve come to realize that when something is meant for you, it will come to you. There is no need to rush in life. I don’t need to have a completely new menu full of new recipes every month. I don’t need to have mastered difficult vegan and gluten free recipes right away. I quickly learned after graduating art school that for me, being forced to do something kills all joy in it. I loved art. But, after years of stress and deadlines it became something different to me than it once was. I fear that the same will happen with baking… Even though I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember. It’s always been a source of comfort for me. It’s always been the thing I turn to when I’m feeling stressed or feeling sad or feeling happy and I want to share that. Baking for me, has always been a passion that I never knew could ever turn into anything more. If that were to be destroyed by stress or pressure to succeed I don’t know what I would do. Would I turn back to art again? Or find something new?
I’m not entirely sure, I just know that I can’t let that happen and so, one of my new years resolutions this year is to do things for the sake of enjoying them. For a while I forgot that I enjoyed baking and started doing it because I was feeling pressure to become better and create more and always be improving all the time. I didn’t realise that I would learn much more by just doing it for the sake of actually loving it. I love baking and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Yes, some things are tough and I will continue to fail all the time but I love it and so why does it matter? I can’t reinvent the wheel and there is no point in trying. I will work hard on my own little vegan and gluten free corner of this world and do the best I can because that is all I can do, and because I love what I’m doing.
Since this realisation, things have become a little easier. I made brownies today and the recipe was a success on the first try. I simply tweaked my original recipe slightly and put a rocky road twist on them, and voila! They are magical. And I know that it’s because they’re a product of love and thankfulness. Thankfulness for the vegan marshmallows I was able to find, thankfulness for the organic shop down my street for carrying cocoa powder when I was all out, thankfulness for just the right amount of chocolate left to make a chocolate drizzle. And above all, thankfulness for the opportunity to do what I love doing. Baking!